I guess its over

So I called Tom at work this morning to let him know I wanted him to get off on his regular hour so we could talk. Considering it had been two days since the results arrived and we hadn't really talked about the situation at ALL, I took the inititive, and said we needed to talk. An hour later he walked through the door. He said he couldn't work knowing that everything was over. Considering he put in ten hours of overtime yesterday...I'm sure it wasn't a problem for him to leave.

I sent the kids to play in Cody's room and put my gloves on...I was laying it all out on the table. I let him know that I was tired of my life and financial situation being affected by and revealed to the past women in his life. As much as I know it hurt, I told him I didn't want his other children around anymore creating problems in my life and causing emotional strain. I have enough with my own kids never mind others that didn't come from inside me. I told him that all the paperwork, research and heartache I put into HIS children wasn't worth the outcome to me. I'm not willing to watch as his daughter walks into my home acting like SHE owns it (very much like her mother in that sense) and breaks all the rules that Cody is still expected to follow. Oh, wait...she doesn't break the rules...they just don't apply to her. Among other things, I'm certainly not willing to hear another child scream in my face: "You're NOT my MOM!". If you haven't had the opportunity to have stepchildren to do that to you; your lucky. It hurts like hell. Especially when you bust your ass through paperwork and bullshit to be able to have her there so she can see her dad. Yeah you little shit, if it weren't for me, your father would have stopped fighting your mother to see you long ago....

He told me he understood. No arguments. He then told me that he just wants me to be happy and if that means with someone else or just not with him, then that's what he wanted. We came to the conclusion that when Mac and Cody are staying with his mom (next week), he's going to leave too. We're going to spend anywhere between a couple days to two weeks apart. I need to sort out where I want to be in my life.

Regardless, I love him to death. I just can't handle all this added stress.

On a lighter note...
My mother called today to say that my grandmother's settlement cheque cleared. Woohoo! Everyone (kids and grandkids I guess) is getting dinner on Saturday. Along with dinner the grandkids all get their inheritance cheque. I got mine in a wire transfer to my mother's account since these crazy women and Ontario Works can't see "other" income. So because my mother is off to the bank tomorrow to make out all the cheques, I get mine tomorrow. I'm not willing to use MY inheritance on Tom's kids or his women, so I'm splurging on myself. I bought my van, I'm getting my camera and finally a new laptop. Too bad even that isn't cheering me up.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness was absolutely right.