And then there were TWO!

I went for my ultrasound today and as my hunches confirmed, we’re pregnant with twins.





At first Tom didn’t handle it well, but as the day wore on and so did his thoughts.  By the time he came home from work he had come to grips that we were having twins again and was starting to get a little excited!


We both decided to keep both sides of our family out of the loop for as long as possible.  Neither one of us wants to hear the “You’re irresponsible” lecture.  Especially at our ages.


This is definitely my last pregnancy.  After having 6 children in 4 pregnancies; I’m officially done.  Once the twins are born, I’ll be having my tubes tied or cut and due to my high fertility, Tom will also be getting the snip.  No more accidents for this momma.


I didn’t get a copy of my ultrasound picture right away this time.  I’m not sure why, other than the technician said that the doctor needed to see it first before I can get my hands on it.  I scheduled an appointment to see my doctor tomorrow afternoon to get the results, then I’m going straight to the imaging center to pick up my picture.  Although I did get the chance to see the twins on the screen and hear both their heartbeats, I don’t have anything to show Tom or anyone else for that matter.  Gotta love the waiting game!

Getting my feet wet....again

So after a few years of not writing/blogging, I’ve come to realize that I miss it and it’s more relaxing then I used to give it credit for.


Now that I seem to have SO much on my plate lately; I need to blog.


We are exactly 19 days away from moving across the country and starting a whole new life. A new life it certainly will be. I’m going from living in the big city (which I love!) to out in the country where my closest neighbour is a 10 minute walk away. HUGE changes for me.


Some of the biggest changes?

• NONE of my family is even remotely close by. Yeah my husband’s family is out there, but considering only his father’s side of the family likes me and his mother hates me, this provides absolutely no comfort what so ever.
• Closest store is 20 minutes away (by car).
• Closest Hospital is 30 minutes away (by car).
• No garbage pick up. You have to burn your garbage and recycling (any) needs to be taken to the depot.
• My mother in law is a meddling *****. Considering she doesn’t like me, I wonder how long it’s going to take for her to try and take over our lives and push me out. I know this will happen, just a matter of how and when.
• We’re going at attempt to grow most of our food. Including chickens for eggs.
• Restarting my businesses (photography, jewelry and the kennel) all over again.

Although these aren’t all the changes and challenges I’ll be facing, it’s some of the bigger ones and the ones that concern me the most.


In the meantime…I have the rest of my house to pack, 7 puppies to place in forever homes and a boatload of stuff I still need to purge. All before December 14th.


God help me…

Why can't she just fall off a cliff?

Ok, so I wouldn't really wish that upon anybody...then again...
Yes, I know I think evil thoughts, but if you put up with the garbage she puts out; you'd feel the same way. If she mysteriously disappeared one day, I think I would most likely feel relieved.

Diana has always been a sore spot in mine and Tom's relationship. I can't help it. I've been bitter and resentful towards all three of them, which I know is totally unfair to Brandon. Most of my resentment though is towards Diana. It takes two to tango and personally I feel as though she got pregnant on purpose and even if she hadn't, she could have done something about it. I mean, she was only 17, what else was she thinking, other than that it would help her keep him.

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!!

As you have noticed I've avoided talking about Tom and Charlotte for the past little while. Since we were battling out child custody in court, I figured I had better play it safe and just leave those tidbits out just in case my lowly blog was discovered by someone in his neurotic family.

After hearing for a couple months now about how much he loves me and misses me, I was beginning to think it was all a scam to get me to say something I'd regret on the phone and use against me in court. Tom has told me numerous times that he wants to come home and that he is going to (whether he's with me or not). I think I'm more shocked to finally hear him refer to Ontario as home and not Nova Scotia. Since I haven't been getting a real answer as to when he'd be home, I just assumed it was all bologna.

Until today that is...
Tom showed up at my door with 2 dozen long-stem red and pink roses to wish me a happy Valentine's day! Was I shocked? Yes! Was it the sweetest thing he's ever done? Yes! Am I letting him spend the night? Sure am ;)!

With that said...I'm off to get the rest of my Valentine's gift ;)

Long distance phone calls

Finally heard from Tom today. Last time I heard from him was when the roof was leaking. Ry's been telling me for days he's probably ran home to Mommy, but I didn't believe it. I figured he wasn't stupid enough to do that again. Last time he did was when Angel died and it was almost the end of us.

I guess I really shouldn't be that surprised. He had no place to go and whenever the going gets tough...he runs to Mommy. Oh, well. Better her dealing with his crap then me. He definitely needs to live with his mother. He needs constant motherly care of which I'm not willing to do anymore.

The guy thinks he's going to be able to get help with his mental issues out there. LMAO! Good luck with that. I don't think anyone can help him with the issues running through his mind. The guy has lost it and frankly being out there with Charlotte is NOT going to help. She's just as crazy if not worse. I wish him luck...he's going to need it.

On another note, I'd like to know when the hell my kids are coming back since the only info I get is excuses...better be soon!

I guess its over

So I called Tom at work this morning to let him know I wanted him to get off on his regular hour so we could talk. Considering it had been two days since the results arrived and we hadn't really talked about the situation at ALL, I took the inititive, and said we needed to talk. An hour later he walked through the door. He said he couldn't work knowing that everything was over. Considering he put in ten hours of overtime yesterday...I'm sure it wasn't a problem for him to leave.

I sent the kids to play in Cody's room and put my gloves on...I was laying it all out on the table. I let him know that I was tired of my life and financial situation being affected by and revealed to the past women in his life. As much as I know it hurt, I told him I didn't want his other children around anymore creating problems in my life and causing emotional strain. I have enough with my own kids never mind others that didn't come from inside me. I told him that all the paperwork, research and heartache I put into HIS children wasn't worth the outcome to me. I'm not willing to watch as his daughter walks into my home acting like SHE owns it (very much like her mother in that sense) and breaks all the rules that Cody is still expected to follow. Oh, wait...she doesn't break the rules...they just don't apply to her. Among other things, I'm certainly not willing to hear another child scream in my face: "You're NOT my MOM!". If you haven't had the opportunity to have stepchildren to do that to you; your lucky. It hurts like hell. Especially when you bust your ass through paperwork and bullshit to be able to have her there so she can see her dad. Yeah you little shit, if it weren't for me, your father would have stopped fighting your mother to see you long ago....

He told me he understood. No arguments. He then told me that he just wants me to be happy and if that means with someone else or just not with him, then that's what he wanted. We came to the conclusion that when Mac and Cody are staying with his mom (next week), he's going to leave too. We're going to spend anywhere between a couple days to two weeks apart. I need to sort out where I want to be in my life.

Regardless, I love him to death. I just can't handle all this added stress.

On a lighter note...
My mother called today to say that my grandmother's settlement cheque cleared. Woohoo! Everyone (kids and grandkids I guess) is getting dinner on Saturday. Along with dinner the grandkids all get their inheritance cheque. I got mine in a wire transfer to my mother's account since these crazy women and Ontario Works can't see "other" income. So because my mother is off to the bank tomorrow to make out all the cheques, I get mine tomorrow. I'm not willing to use MY inheritance on Tom's kids or his women, so I'm splurging on myself. I bought my van, I'm getting my camera and finally a new laptop. Too bad even that isn't cheering me up.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness was absolutely right.

All it takes is a phone call

Okay so it's 10:43 p.m. and Tom still isn't home from work. I talked to him an hour ago and he said he was punching out and walking out the door. My ass! It takes fifteen minutes to get from his work, especially at this hour.

Just got off the phone with him again. Yeah he's still at work. What the hell is the damn point of putting in overtime? His stupid ex-wife is going to get it all anyway. See, according to the FRO, we're $3500 in arrears and until its all paid off, his paycheques are garnished by 50%. In actuality, we're not, we're even but Kelly (the ex) is too lazy to report it. So now they're threatening to suspend his license; like taking it away is going to get him to and from work in order to pay the arrears. I don't understand their position on certain certain aspects at all.

I don't know what I'm more mad at...him for not calling...or this stupid laptop for overheating and shutting off on me every ten minutes! I can't wait till this Saturday. I'm finally splurging on a new camera. One that actually takes pictures when I ask it to, not seconds after Cody or McKenzie have finished their cute smile/moment! I can't even begin to tell you how frustrating it is. Dumb camera jumps through settings so bad that I don't think it has any settings anymore. Back to the laptop...since it just shut off again...I'm replacing this hunk of junk with a 15" Macbook Pro.

I better publish this before it shuts off again. It has taken me an hour to type this post. Saturday can't come soon enough.

Figures we can fight over just about anything...

Went to out tonight with Tom in hopes for a nice quiet dinner without the kids.

Yeah Right.

Made the first mistake of going to Jack Astor's. Quiet my ass. I left my kids with other people to listen to everyone else's brats during dinner? Don't think so. Oh, and thank you to the guy who sneezed like a gunshot and made the kids cry from shock. I appreciated that orchestra of noise during dinner. I'm sure everyone at your table refused to eat their food after that...

First, Tom wanted to sit in the bar area where a bunch of sport jocks were so loud I didn't want to be in there. Plus the seat was broken in the booth we were in and one wrong move would have resulted in my ass on the floor. So they put us in a booth right in front of the front door. That was enough to put Tom in a mood that caused him to order only a salad!?! Yeah well, you can have your salad. I'll have my 10 oz Butter Brushed New York steak; thank you very much. Which, by the way, got cold real fast from us sitting by the front door.

Next was the argument over the Wii. Nice to know you can play all night while I watch but when I want to play its boring so you'd rather watch season one of Prison Break. Bah. Okay so we got through one episode before you fell asleep. As Cody would say..."WooWee" (notice my tone is sarcastic).

Anyway off to bed. This time change is killing me :S